This post is a shout-out to all those people I miss right now. You may not even know who you are. Some of you are family, some are friends, some are a mixture of both.
Some of the people I miss are down the hall from me right now. But I miss talking with them. I miss spending time with them. I miss hanging out with them, laughing, playing, joking around, and having fun with them. I miss spending time with the people I love because work, school, family, relationships, personal issues, and more have kept us apart.
A lot of the people I miss are thousands of miles away. They live across the country and I only see them a few times a year. Perhaps it's not the distance that makes me miss them so much as the lack of communication and emotional space between us. I don't write them enough and they don't write me. I miss them so much my heart aches, but I don't pick up the phone and call, go on the computer and write, or send a quick text because I'm focused on where I am physically and how much of a distance there is between us. It's stupid, really. My sister lives the same distance away and I chat with her every single day. I miss her too, by the way.
I miss the people that I talk to every day because they're thousands of miles away and I can't see their faces. I miss them because I know so much about them, I care about their lives, I love them so much, but I can't be with them. Even on the occasion that I can see their faces via video chat, it's not enough. Then I want to hold them, to hug them, to sit them down next to me and make them tell me everything.
There's more to it, though. I don't just miss people. I miss my life from the past. I miss being little and pretending our mailbox was an oven and cooking soup beneath it. I miss the days when I would walk over to my friend's house every day at 3:20 PM to greet her when she came home from school. I miss the days when I could go visit the chapel every time I had a spare moment. I miss the times when I lived with forty of the most awesome teenage girls I've ever met. I miss staying up late at night talking with my sister about the most random and stupid things. I miss going to Starbucks with my small group of friends and talking about our "intellectual superiority" after riding around in shopping carts.
Life just keeps going and it doesn't stop. Ever. It twists and changes and bends into things we never expected it to be. One day you wake up and realize that you haven't talked to your "best friend" in months. You'll understand that your baby sister is all grown up. You finally admit that those jeans just don't fit you anymore. Sometimes you just need to accept these changes of life and keep going. Other times, you need to pick up your cell phone and call your friend. You need to go on your computer and e-mail that person you miss. You need to eat healthier to be the happy person that used to be you. Maybe the reason we miss people and things is so that we can appreciate them more when we meet them again.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
The Power of a Word
So many people today will say things without really thinking about their meaning. They'll say, "how are you?" without really caring how a person is doing, or "what's up" without actually wanting a response. Likewise, someone will yell swear words in a church without thinking about how blasphemous it is. They will take God's name in vain like it's the most normal thing in the world. The power of words has been lost. Perhaps not forever, but it's very sadly absent.
Think about how most of your conversations go, for example, and think of how they affect your life. Whenever I speak with a certain group of my friends, it's always about something negative, or gossip, or how bad life is for them. Another group of friends only talks about themselves. They'll sit together for hours and just tell stories about their lives, things that have happened to them, or why they're better than me. Some of my friends only talk about video games, comic books, movies, or TV shows. They'll criticize some movies, praise others, and generally affect my view of those particular pieces of media.
These conversations not only affect my view of those people and how I interact with them, but also how I respond to life. If I spent most of my time around those people who love to gossip and talk about depressing things, I would most likely become a girl who enjoys to gossip and brings others down through her words. If I hung around the people who always talk about themselves, I would probably become more self-absorbed and constantly try to prove myself to others. The words that are spoken and the way they're said can affect my life and who I am.
The words I say, as well, can affect how other people view me. Imagine for a moment that you meet someone for the first time. They introduce themselves calmly and casually. You respond with, "Hey! I'm Lola, totally &*%$ and I hate %$@&. " They would probably perceive you as a bad influence on their children and keep you at arms length. You would probably think they were a cool person, and regret having made such a horrible impression.
But it's not just introductions that can affect how people view you. I've known one man for a long time. I respect him and think he's an awesome business man and leader. However, just the other day I heard him cussing and belittling people I know really well, and my opinion of him dropped by several points. That's not to say he's any less of an awesome person, it's just how I view him that has changed.
Facebook and other social networks give us many more opportunities to forget the meaning of words. It's so easy to post something on facebook and ignore the consequences because you don't actually have to say anything to someone face to face. You could post something horrible on another person's wall, de-friend them, and never have to talk to them again. It's so easy to forget that there are consequences to what we say and write. Even chatting with people has to be thought of a little less casually, because it is so easy to misinterpret a message or a text.
I'd like to end by saying, I'm not trying to preach to you. I'm not trying to tell you what to do and not to. I'm just writing down what I've had to learn the hard way. There was one time when I was younger, I wanted to stay at a friend's house overnight instead of going to a church picnic with my family. I don't remember exactly what I said to my dad, all I know is that it got me grounded for the rest of the weekend, and I didn't get to go to the picnic or my friend's house. When my dad came to talk to me about it, he said, "It's not what you do or say that matters, it's how people perceive it." And so, I always have to take a step back and think, "how is the person reading/hearing this going to understand it?" And sometimes they still misinterpret, but I try to be as clear and concise as possible... (Looks at everything she's written) ... Most of the time...
Think about how most of your conversations go, for example, and think of how they affect your life. Whenever I speak with a certain group of my friends, it's always about something negative, or gossip, or how bad life is for them. Another group of friends only talks about themselves. They'll sit together for hours and just tell stories about their lives, things that have happened to them, or why they're better than me. Some of my friends only talk about video games, comic books, movies, or TV shows. They'll criticize some movies, praise others, and generally affect my view of those particular pieces of media.
These conversations not only affect my view of those people and how I interact with them, but also how I respond to life. If I spent most of my time around those people who love to gossip and talk about depressing things, I would most likely become a girl who enjoys to gossip and brings others down through her words. If I hung around the people who always talk about themselves, I would probably become more self-absorbed and constantly try to prove myself to others. The words that are spoken and the way they're said can affect my life and who I am.
The words I say, as well, can affect how other people view me. Imagine for a moment that you meet someone for the first time. They introduce themselves calmly and casually. You respond with, "Hey! I'm Lola, totally &*%$ and I hate %$@&. " They would probably perceive you as a bad influence on their children and keep you at arms length. You would probably think they were a cool person, and regret having made such a horrible impression.
But it's not just introductions that can affect how people view you. I've known one man for a long time. I respect him and think he's an awesome business man and leader. However, just the other day I heard him cussing and belittling people I know really well, and my opinion of him dropped by several points. That's not to say he's any less of an awesome person, it's just how I view him that has changed.
Facebook and other social networks give us many more opportunities to forget the meaning of words. It's so easy to post something on facebook and ignore the consequences because you don't actually have to say anything to someone face to face. You could post something horrible on another person's wall, de-friend them, and never have to talk to them again. It's so easy to forget that there are consequences to what we say and write. Even chatting with people has to be thought of a little less casually, because it is so easy to misinterpret a message or a text.
I'd like to end by saying, I'm not trying to preach to you. I'm not trying to tell you what to do and not to. I'm just writing down what I've had to learn the hard way. There was one time when I was younger, I wanted to stay at a friend's house overnight instead of going to a church picnic with my family. I don't remember exactly what I said to my dad, all I know is that it got me grounded for the rest of the weekend, and I didn't get to go to the picnic or my friend's house. When my dad came to talk to me about it, he said, "It's not what you do or say that matters, it's how people perceive it." And so, I always have to take a step back and think, "how is the person reading/hearing this going to understand it?" And sometimes they still misinterpret, but I try to be as clear and concise as possible... (Looks at everything she's written) ... Most of the time...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Hey There!
You have no idea of the power of these words. Reaching out to someone you don't know can be one of the most important things you ever do. Asking someone you know how they're doing can change the course of your life forever. Caring about anyone can make the world a different place.
Personally, I'm an introvert, and I hate being around people. One or two really close friends is fine, but when it comes to big groups or people I don't know, I feel like crawling into a corner and hiding until they go away. This not being an option in most social situations, so I choose instead to introduce myself.
"Hey! Are you new here? What's your name? Where are you from? Why are you here? What is the most important thing in the universe?" Questions like these follow, and I either end up in a very awkward situation, or with a new best friend. Usually, the former, but on the rare occasion that the latter happens, it's completely worth all the awkward situations in the world.
People are lonely. Everyone could use a friend. No man is an island. Perhaps the next time you see someone in need, you could reach out to them instead. This isn't just hard for introverts either, extroverts seem to have a hard time focusing on one person and helping them out in time of need. Sometimes that person just needs you to listen and be sympathetic, even if you'd rather go out and party with a million other people. Be a friend. You could probably use it too.
Personally, I'm an introvert, and I hate being around people. One or two really close friends is fine, but when it comes to big groups or people I don't know, I feel like crawling into a corner and hiding until they go away. This not being an option in most social situations, so I choose instead to introduce myself.
"Hey! Are you new here? What's your name? Where are you from? Why are you here? What is the most important thing in the universe?" Questions like these follow, and I either end up in a very awkward situation, or with a new best friend. Usually, the former, but on the rare occasion that the latter happens, it's completely worth all the awkward situations in the world.
People are lonely. Everyone could use a friend. No man is an island. Perhaps the next time you see someone in need, you could reach out to them instead. This isn't just hard for introverts either, extroverts seem to have a hard time focusing on one person and helping them out in time of need. Sometimes that person just needs you to listen and be sympathetic, even if you'd rather go out and party with a million other people. Be a friend. You could probably use it too.
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